June 23, 1805
I write this from our camp on the island above the Great Falls. I have named this White Bear Island because of the number of grizzlies in the neighborhood. Although we are five miles away from the nearest falls, we can hear their roar.
We have stored the white pirogue and made another cache of supplies at the lower portage camp for when we return.
The boat frame arrived today and I have enlisted J. Fields, Sergeant Gass, and John Shields to assist me in putting it together. The boat is 36 fret long and should serve our purposes admirably once it's afloat. I overheard a few of the men referring to my boat as the "experiment" the other day. They don't seem to believe the boat will float, but I'm confident they are in error, just as they were about the true course of the Missouri.
The greatest challenge now is finding a sealant to waterproof the seams of the skins. If I had known that finding pitch for this purpose was going to be so hard in this area, I would have collected it downriver and brought it with us. I am experimenting with a new sealant made of charcoal and tallow, which we have used with great success in the past to patch our canoes....
CAPTAIN LEWIS'S greatest challenge was his iron boat, but my greatest challenge was the grizzlies. White Bear Island was crawling with them. During the day they kept their distance, but at night while the men slept they became bolder. The men slept with rifles loaded and fires burning brightly, but I think it was my angry barking that kept the bears away.
The men's greatest challenge was getting the canoes and supplies around the Falls. The ground was steep, covered with prickly pear, and rutted with dried buffalo tracks that were as sharp as arrows. The men pushed and pulled the heavy carts over this rough ground an inch at a time. Every few feet they had to stop and rest. When they lay down they fell asleep, and Captain Clark had to kick them to wake them up. Of all the hardships they had suffered on our journey, this portage was by far the worst. On some days, when the wind was blowing right, they were able to raise the sail on the canoes, which eased their burden a little. But on most days the weather did not help matters. Strong winds, thunder, lightning, rain, and hail assaulted the men, adding to their labor.
When Captain Clark left White Bear Island to retrieve the last dugout canoe, I went with him. I doubt Captain Lewis even noticed when I left. The only thing on his mind was readying the iron boat.
York, Bird Woman, and Pomp accompanied us across the windy plain to the lower portage camp. A few miles before we got there we were caught in a terrible rain-and-hail storm. We took shelter in a deep gully. Bird Woman unstrapped Pomp from his cradleboard, stripped off his wet clothes, and started to dry him as best as she could. Then we heard the water. A second later it was upon us.
"Flash flood!" Captain Clark shouted "Climb!" He grabbed Pomp and handed him up to York, then took Bird Woman by the arm and dragged her up behind him.
The water swept me away, pushing me a hundred yards down the gully before I was able to clamber out onto the prairie, where I was greeted by wind-driven hail the size of musket balls.
"Run to stay warm!" Captain Clark shouted above the blasts of thunder.
When we arrived at the lower camp, we found men as naked as little Pomp, huddled around the fires trying to dry their clothes. They were covered with bruises and cuts from the pounding hail.
July 4, 1805
Our country's 29th birthday. To celebrate we poured the last of our whiskey, and the men are having a merry time by the sound of it.
I am very discouraged this evening. The boat is taking much longer than I thought. With rain and hail every day, the skins will not dry. I am worried we will not find the Shoshones. Worried we will not make it over the mountains before winter....
CAPTAIN LEWIS was sitting near the iron boat with the red book in his lap, his pen in his hand, and his last glass of whiskey at his side when Captain Clark found him.
"I wondered where you had gotten to. What are you doing down here by yourself?"
"I'm afraid I'm not very good company this evening."
Captain Clark sat down next to him. "What's on your mind, Meriwether?"
"Nothing, really."
"How long will you give the boat?"
"What do you mean?"
"How long will you wait before we push on without it?"
"You don't think it will work, either?" Captain Lewis was clearly surprised.
"It was a good idea," Captain Clark said carefully. "But no, I don't think she'll float."
"The boat will work! All we have to do is seal the seams and she'll take us all the way to the Pacific."
"Providing there's an easy portage to a navigable river, which you know there may not be."
"Have you lost faith in the Northwest Passage?"
"A little," Captain Clark admitted. "Those mountains are much bigger than we expected."
"Regardless," Captain Lewis said, "we'll sail this boat as far as we can."
The captains sat in silence for a long time.
"I've been thinking I should take a large party out hunting," Captain Clark said. "The Hidatsas warned us that there are few buffalo above the Falls. We'll need extra meat to get over the mountains."
"Give me the men for a few more days," Captain Lewis said. "The skins are nearly completed."
"Of course." Captain Clark stood. "I hope I'm wrong about the boat, Meriwether, but if for some reason it doesn't work, you can't blame yourself."
July 8, 1805
I believe the sealant we're using for the boat will work admirably until we get to the mountains, where there mil be trees with the type of pitch we need to do the job right.
Captain Clark has taken most of the men on a hunting expedition. My boat should be ready to float by tomorrow....
I JOINED CAPTAIN CLARK and discovered he was not looking only for meat. As soon as we got out onto the prairie he divided the men and took his small party to the Medicine River.
"While you're hunting you might keep your eyes open for trees that are big enough to make canoes."
"And animal specimens for Captain Lewis," added Drouillard. "You know how new creatures cheer him up."
The men knew. They also knew that the iron boat was not going to work and the Captain would need something to distract him from the failure.
We returned that evening with a kit fox and a live squirrel. Captain Lewis barely looked at the new animals, saying he would get to them later when he had more time.
The next afternoon Captain Lewis launched his experiment. The boat wasn't in the water more than five minutes before almost every seam split in two. It quickly filled with water and settled on the shallow river bottom. The only person who seemed surprised was Captain Lewis.
He waded out to the iron boat and examined several seams. No one spoke. When he got back on shore he walked over to Captain Clark and said, "We'll have to make canoes."
"I'll go out tomorrow morning and see if we can find suitable trees," Captain Clark said, not mentioning that he had already marked several for this purpose.
"While you're doing that we'll dismantle the boat and bury it with anything else we don't need. I'm going for a ramble. Let's go, Sea."
This was the hardest ramble I ever took with the Captain. A mile away from camp he started mumbling to himself. A half mile farther he started shouting.
"Fool! Idiot! The men knew the boat would sink, but your pride made you deaf to their logic. You delayed the party by two weeks. Those two wasted weeks just might kill every man!"
He continued on like this for another mile. I lagged behind him several yards. Seeing him act like this was more frightening than any of my encounters with grizzlies.
We came to a small stand of trees. The Captain, still berating himself, picked a heavy limb up off the ground and began bashing it against a tree trunk over and over and over again until he was too weak to swing. He fell to his knees and covered his face with his bloodied hands.
I lay twenty feet away shivering with worry. After a very long time, the Captain quieted and looked up with red-rimmed eyes. He looked right at me but didn't see me. He took several chest-heaving breaths, then lay back against the tree he had beaten and fell asleep.
Because of the grizzlies, White Bear Island was probably the worst place in the world to take a nap alone. I kept my eyes and nose open for trouble, and that's when I saw White Feather. I wanted to run over to him, but I felt that my place was next to the Captain. Directly below White Feather stood Drouillard, calmly scanning the flat prairie with his rifle cradled in his thick arms.
The Captain slept for a long time. When he awoke he was better, but still not himself. We walked back to camp and found Captain Clark in the lodge scratching in his journal by dim candlelight.
Captain Lewis looked around the lodge and saw Bird Woman, Pomp, and Charbonneau fast asleep under their blanket. Drouillard was not lying in his regular spot. "Where's Drouillard?"
Captain Clark looked up from his journal. "He said he was going to sleep out with the men tonight."
This was the first and last time I ever heard Captain Clark tell an outright lie to Captain Lewis. He knew Drouillard had followed us.
"That's strange."
"Charbonneau made boudin blanc tonight," Captain Clark said. "We saved some for you." He uncovered the plate.
Captain Lewis looked at the sausage. "I don't recall getting angry with Charbonneau today." Captain Lewis took a bite of sausage. "WillI am, the next time you catch me doing something prideful like this boat, for god's sake please stop me."
Captain Clark grinned. "I'll try." He put his journal away and got under his blanket.
Captain Lewis gave me a sausage link and finished the rest himself.
Early the next morning Captain Clark took some men to the Medicine River to make canoes. The men who remained sewed new moccasins, dried meat, and packed supplies. In the afternoon Captain Lewis had them disassemble the iron boat and bury the pieces in a hole like they were old bones.
July 15, 1805
Once again we are moving west. The canoes are heavily loaded and several of the men must walk alongshore, as there is no room for them in the boats. If only I could have gotten the iron boat to work! But that is in the past and I need to let that failure go....
BUT THE CAPTAIN could not seem to let it go. When we were alone on rambles he still talked about the boat, which led him to talking about other failures, until it seemed like he had never succeeded at anything in his entire life. He talked of the times he drank too much and said things he should have held inside. How he had left his mother and brother to manage their property and holdings because he could not contain his lust to wander. His failure to find a woman who could love him as he loved her. The list was long, but none of these failures seemed to amount to much to me compared to everything he had accomplished in his life. He was a skilled botanist, biologist, woodsman, hunter, and tracker, and a wonderful commander. He had successfully led a group of men almost all the way across the continent into lands never before seen by his tribe. And he was only thirty years old.
The day after we left White Bear Island, Captain Lewis led Potts, Lepage, and Drouillard ahead of the canoes to hunt and get a better look at the mountains.
Once again food was scarce, but young geese were plentiful and I thought they would be easy for me to catch as they could not fly yet I came across a flock and gave chase. As I was about to put my mouth on one of the downy morsels, a bold mother goose descended upon me and showed me that her wings were used for more than flying. She pummeled me with them and bit my ears until I was nearly senseless. I gave up trying to catch her pup and ran for my life. She pursued me with her feathered fists nearly a quarter mile upriver before she decided I had been punished enough. The men laughed so hard at the sight, they had to sit down where they stood. Even Captain Lewis managed to smile, an expression I hadn't seen for a while. The beating I'd taken was worth that little smile of his.
Late that afternoon we got a good look at the Rockies, and it was a sobering sight The snow-capped mountains were immense.
"How are we going to get over them?" Potts asked.
"We will," the Captain said, but at that moment he didn't look very confident. "We have to. We'll camp here and wait for the boats."
The Captain stared at the white peaks for hours that afternoon and seemed to barely breathe as he took them in. I was reminded of how he had stared at the iron boat a few days before she sank. I hoped we wouldn't suffer the same fate.
When the sun set, the white peaks changed to pink and purple. "They are beautiful," the Captain said. "But deadly. We need those horses."
Captain Clark and the boats arrived midmorning the next day. The captains sat a short distance from the men, looking at the mountains, talking about how to cross over them before winter set in.
"We need horses," Captain Lewis said. "We should have encountered the Shoshones by now."
"Maybe we're scaring them off," Captain Clark suggested.
"What do you mean?"
"Our guns. Maybe they've heard our guns and are hiding themselves. From what we've been told, the Shoshones have never seen white men."
The Captain thought about this for a time before responding. "What do you suggest?"
"I'll take a small party ahead with as much food as we can carry, so we don't have to hunt and fire our guns. We'll try to find the Shoshones and convince them we mean them no harm before the main party arrives."
"And you want me to command the boats?" What Captain Lewis meant was that he was usually the rambling captain and Clark was generally the water captain. I think he was hoping Captain Clark would see this as clearly as he did, but Captain Clark didn't see it this way at all.
"The water along here should not present a problem."
Captain Lewis saw his friend's determination and didn't argue the point. "When will you leave?"
"Early tomorrow morning. I'll take Joe Fields, Private Potts, and York. We will find the Shoshones."
"I hope you do."
Captain Clark smiled and walked off toward camp to tell the men to ready themselves.
Captain Lewis scratched my head. "Guess we're going back on the water, mate."
July 19, 1805
The canoes are making fair time, and as Captain Clark predicted, we have had little trouble, but I would prefer to be in his place looking for the Shoshones.
Today we passed through spires of black gloomy rock looming at least 1,200 feet above the river. I named them the gates of the Rocky Mountains.
My dog is suffering greatly from a small seed found along this part of the river....
I HAD GOTTEN used to the swarms of gnats and mosquitoes and the blood-sucking ticks. Even the prickly pear was tolerable if the Captain got the spines out of me before they festered. But those evil little seeds caused me unending misery.
When I tried to scratch the seeds out, they burrowed deeper into my fur and bit my skin like red fire ants. And jumping into the cold water was no relief. There was only one solution for my misery—Captain Lewis spent half the night cutting the seeds out of my fur with his knife, making me as bald as the top of Charbonneau's head in some places.
"These seeds have barbs so the animals passing by pick them up in their fur," Captain Lewis said as he sliced away. "This disperses the seeds to new areas where they can germinate." Slice. "Rather like hitching a ride on a wagon." Slice.
At that moment I couldn't have cared less about the seeds' clever mode of travel. If the Captain hadn't been there to cut them out, I would have scratched myself to death.
"I'm confining you to one of the canoes, Sea." Slice. "At least until we get through this seed area." Slice. "I can't spend every night doing this." Slice.
That was fine with me. Slice.
Our passage over the next few days was very difficult, and the men suffered greatly from their hard labor. They had to pull the canoes with elk-hide ropes, and in the shallower areas push the canoes against the current with poles.
About the only encouragement the men had during this time came on the day we passed a section of the river that Sacagawea recognized. She claimed that her tribe was not too far ahead.
On that same day we caught up with Captain Clark and his small party. They had been slowed by the rough terrain and the condition of Captain Clark's feet, which had been badly injured by prickly pear. As soon as we set up camp, Captain Lewis warmed some water in a pot and cleaned Captain Clark's swollen feet.
"You'll not get far on these, William."
"My feet will be fine," Captain Clark said, wincing in pain.
"They will heal much faster resting in one of the canoes. I would be happy to take your place."
"I said my feet will be fine, Meriwether! I will not be coddled. We're heading out again early tomorrow morning." He hobbled painfully into the lodge.
July 27, 1805
We arrived at the Three Forks this morning. I named the southeast fork after Albert Gallatin, our secretary of the treasury. The middle fork I am calling the Madison River, after James Madison, our secretary of state. And the right fork, which is the river we will follow to the Rocky Mountains, I am calling the Jefferson River, in honor of our president.
We traveled a short distance up the Jefferson and came to a small island, where I found a note from Captain Clark saying he would return to this spot soon and to wait for him here. I am not sorry to wait, as the men could use a rest....
CAPTAIN CLARK limped into camp that same afternoon and collapsed in front of our lodge. His face was the color of ash and it was a wonder he could even stand on his feet in the condition they were in.
Captain Lewis took the bloody moccasins off his friend's feet and cleaned the infected ulcers with warm water.
"You're running a fever," Captain Lewis said. "We'll rest here a few days. Then I'll take some men ahead and look for the Shoshones."
Captain Clark was too weak to object.
July 30, 1805
We are under way once again. Captain Clark is still suffering, but the rest has revived the other men. They had good luck hunting, and a chance to sew new moccasins to replace their tattered ones, destroyed during the hard pull past the gates of the Rocky Mountains.
This morning I walked alongshore with Charbonneau and Sacagawea. We came to where Sacagawea was captured by the Hidatsas. She showed us the stand of trees she and her friend ran toward. They had almost made their escape when...
"I FELL AND TWISTED my ankle," Bird Woman said. "It was here." She bent down and touched the root of a tree sticking out of the ground. "My friend Jumping Fish came back and tried to help me, but the ankle would not hold my weight We heard horses coming behind us. I pushed Jumping Fish away and told her to save herself. She didn't want to leave me, but she made herself go, looking back at me one last time before she disappeared into the trees." Bird Woman turned and pointed behind her. "The two mounted Hidatsas came from the river, their faces painted red, each with a wet scalp tied to his belt.
"The first warrior jumped from his horse before it came to a stop. He grabbed my hair, jerked my head off the ground, and screamed. My brother came running from the trees and knocked the warrior down. He shouted for me to run, not realizing my foot was injured. I crawled toward the trees, but before I reached them, I was picked up by another warrior. He threw me across his horse."
"And your brother?" Captain Lewis asked quietly.
Bird Woman shook her head. "I'm sure he was killed. There were many Hidatsas and their blood was up. As the warrior carried me away I saw many people killed. Those who ran were clubbed like buffalo. I saw with my own eyes four men, four old women, and several young boys killed. The young women, like me, were spared."
In the afternoon Charbonneau and Sacagawea rejoined the canoes and Captain Lewis and I continued on alone. In order to avoid the swampy areas created by beaver dams, we had to walk inland some distance before we could proceed upriver. When we reached the river again Captain Lewis could not tell whether we were above or below the canoes. He fired his rifle twice, hoping to hear return fire and determine the direction to travel, but there was no report. My nose told me we were ahead of the canoes, but there was no way to convey this to the Captain. Rather than hazard a guess, he shot a duck, built a fire, and decided to spend the night.
I sniffed around and discovered that a grizzly had walked by our camp not long before we arrived. I stayed alert all night long, but the only visitor we had was a deer who left her bed early and came down to the river for a drink of water. By sunrise I was tired and very hungry. I needed more than a pile of duck bones to fill my stomach.
"We'll wait here a while longer, then head upriver." The Captain took his journal out and began scratching in it. I headed downriver to see if I could find breakfast and the other men before the Captain led us farther away. I didn't find any food, but I did find Charbonneau walking by himself and making more noise than a grizzly bear. He appeared to be having an argument with Bird Woman, although she was nowhere in sight This was not unusual. During the journey I had seen nearly all the men have these one-sided conversations.
"What about Pomp?" Charbonneau asked the river. "Don't you care about our child? If we find your people, we'll spend the winter with them. If these foolish men survive the mountains—and I doubt they will—we can rejoin the party in the spring and return to the east with them. It's our only course!"
Charbonneau stopped and looked at a tree as if it were saying something to him. The full cheeks above his gray beard turned bright red and his eyes bulged as if the tree were insulting him.
"You are a bad wife and a bad mother. You will do what I say!" Knowing Bird Woman, I thought it wise that he said this to a tree and not to her. She was gentle, but she did not put up with silliness, especially her husband's.
"I'll not risk my only son ... What's that?" Charbonneau laughed. "The Pacific Ocean is nothing but a big lake filled with stinking water. It's not worth risking our lives to see it. Besides, the only reason the captains allowed you to come with me is because you speak Shoshone. After we get the horses they'll have no use for you." He smiled and put his hand out toward the invisible Bird Woman. "Don't cry ... Someday I'll take you to the Pacific Ocean."
I had never seen Bird Woman shed a single tear, although she'd had reason enough to do so on many occasions.
Charbonneau sighed with satisfaction, well pleased with his one-way conversation. He continued upriver, walking right past me as if I were as invisible as Bird Woman. It occurred to me to run up behind him and bark to see how high he could jump, but I didn't. He might have shot me, or more likely himself. Instead I swung around him and rejoined Captain Lewis, who was just about ready to leave.
"I wondered where you had gotten to, Sea. We better go up and find the others before they get too far ahead."
I sat down.
"Let's go."
I barked and ran a short distance downriver.
"What's gotten into you?"
About this time Charbonneau appeared around the bend. "Captain Lewis!" he shouted.
The Captain waved. I ran back to him.
"You're a fine dog, Sea. A fine dog." He scratched me behind the ear. "What brings you out here so early, Mister Charbonneau?"
"I was concerned about you, Captain. I thought I'd walk ahead of the others and see if I could find you. I'm delighted you are all right."
The Captain looked at him doubtfully. "How are the men?"
"Not good. Five are very sick and Captain Clark's feet are still in a bad way."
Without another word the Captain started walking downriver. Charbonneau tried to match his vigorous pace but could not do it without wheezing at the effort. "I ... was ... wondering ... uh ... if I could discuss ... something ... with you."
"Go ahead," Captain Lewis said without slowing down.
"It's ... about ... Sacagawea ... and—"
"Yes?"
"Uh..."
"What is it, Charbonneau?"
"Never mind ... I'll see you back at the canoes."
We left Charbonneau with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.