33
The Big Goodbye
TO-DO LIST BEFORE RETURNING TO MONTREAL:
Reduce Mom’s rage to a simmering, functioning anger.
Say goodbye to Aarti.
Say goodbye to Liam.
Say goodbye to Maddie.
Make it through final exams.
Pack up room.
Norris was honestly grateful for the distraction of finals rolling around. No Aarti, no Maddie, no friends or “friends” with loaded quotation marks and innuendos. Judith had never even gotten around to grounding him after that horrible night, but studying in his room was exactly where he wanted to be. Hearing Felix rummaging around in the cupboards in the kitchen reminded Norris of life back in Montreal with the added wrinkle of now also occasionally overhearing him on the phone with Janet right outside his window. That was definitely new, and Norris preferred to focus on his notebooks than on the nagging memories of the many times he’d heard his father laugh on the phone outside their old apartment. No one really believed Janet had been the first Janet.
By and large, Anderson High was an easy school. Not the people, obviously—walking land mines, each and every one of them—but the classes themselves were all fairly simple. It wasn’t an indictment of the American education system, but there really wasn’t much to getting decent grades there as far as Norris was concerned. Due to the massive student body, tests and assignments were tailor-made to be passed. It was a straightforward process of turning board scribbles into notes, notes into memories, and then vomiting those memories onto exam pages. Even Goade’s reputation as taskmaster of “a sadistic final exam from the depths of hell,” a description provided by one Hairy Armpitted acquaintance, had boiled down to a few tricky formulas from the take-home problem set. Norris was sure he couldn’t have gotten less than a B-plus. He could live with that. His only worry now was how it would all transfer back into the Quebec grading system. He really didn’t want to retake any of these classes; Austin would be best left as a closed chapter in his mind, a weird life hiatus he might remember in passing years from now.
@Eric53 is online.
@Eric53—So, you’re coming back? Permanently?!
@Norrtorious—Yup. That’s a wrap on Texas.
@Eric53—Ur mom’s OK with dat?
@Norrtorious—I think she’s just happy to get rid of me for a summer? I’m gonna be with my dad while mom arranges the details.
@Eric53—Dang. She’s OK leaving Texas and her new job after just getting there?
@Norrtorious—She says she’ll be able to get adjunct work at McGill with Texas on her resume now. She’s staying thru August to wrap up her summer semester but we should be back to status quo by September.
@Eric53—And the GF?
Norrtorious—That’s not a thing anymore.
@Eric53—And ur job?
@Norrtorious—See above.
@Eric53—Wat happened down there?
@Norrtorious—Oh y’know. A little misdemeanor here; police station shenanigans there. I’ll fill you in in person.
@Eric53—WTF?
@Norrtorious—Dude, check the best bro manual; we’re going to be living in the same country again; I’m going to need some goddamn enthusiasm here!
@Eric53—Of course I’ll be glad to have you back, u drama queen. Do u have any idea how quiet the bus ride to school is without you? I’m listening to podcasts FFS.
@Eric 53 is offline.
Norris had planned on picking up his last check from the Bone Yard in person, saying goodbye to everyone there, and maybe even getting a moment alone with Maddie, but it had been preemptively left in his mailbox. The fact that there wasn’t a stamp on the envelope implied that it had been an in-person delivery, which was as good as a slammed door to the face. Someone really did not want him anywhere near the Bone Yard premises, and for some reason, he couldn’t stop imagining Meredith taking her friendship duties very, very seriously. The chewing gum left behind his locker’s lock one morning also had a vague after-smell of morning-drills bitchiness.
Finals were a hectic time for everyone; some of the varsity teams were away for games, and there were various posters around the school tracking the championships that were just out of reach for the Anderson High Bats. For the remaining students, some teachers turned their last few classes into study periods so students stayed home. Somehow, it took days for him to catch a glimpse of Maddie with two friends in one of the second-floor dance studios. Norris lingered outside the door, with an apology on his lips. Seven letters, one contraction. That’s all he had to say. It was up to her to believe him or not, but Norris needed to get it off his chest. Suddenly the studio doors swung open, slamming Norris against the forehead and into a nearby water fountain. Ow.
“Nope,” Meredith preempted, visibly proud of her work. “Jesus! Are you here for my firstborn or something? It’s not going to happen,” she said, snapping her fingers at the hallway where she presumably wanted him to disappear off to. “Git.”
“Did you really just say ‘git’?”
“Short and direct one-syllable command; it’s the best way to deal with guys like you. Look, whatever you’re waiting out here for you’re not going to get it,” she added, arms crossed in front of her.
Norris looked back to the studio door’s window, catching a glimpse of Maddie’s ponytail as the girls therein performed a series of cartwheels, one after another. Something in his chest twitched at the brief sight. If she knew he was out there, she was doing a great job of ignoring it.
“I just want to apologize, all right?”
“How’s this instead? You stay away from her and I don’t set you on literal fire. Does that sound like a deal, Norris?”
“Whatever,” Norris said before walking away. A lengthy exchange with Meredith was a price of admission he wasn’t ready to pay. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of telling her he was leaving Texas.
“Stop putting gum behind my lock, you psycho!” Norris called back behind him.
“Nope” came the satisfied reply, as the doors slammed again.
God, he couldn’t wait to leave this cursed time zone.
Liam was one of the few people Norris would genuinely miss hanging out with. He was sure that whatever farewell they engaged in would involve Buddhist mantras about the journey ahead and how distance was an illusion anyway. Instead, Liam slammed his locker more forcefully than Norris would have thought the news warranted and immediately stormed off toward the student parking lot. At least he hadn’t reneged on giving Norris a ride home.
“So, that’s it?” Liam concluded after Norris was done summarizing the past few days. “You’re just bailing?”
“Dude,” Norris sighed as Liam held the door open for him. “Me and Austin . . . it’s just not a good fit, all right.”
“You’re a poker, Norris.”
“I’m a . . .”
“A poker,” Liam continued. “Most people—heck, most living beings—have fight or flight as their two responses to crisis. You, Norris? You’re a poker. You don’t fight; you poke, and then run away. I don’t know why. Maybe so you can feel rightfully victimized?”
It was almost flattering how upset he was by the news of Norris’s departure.
“Look—”
“And honestly, you can’t complain about life fucking you over because you have too many people caring about you, Norris. That’s just . . . silly. This is your problem, not Austin’s, not anybody else’s. You made the mess; stay and clean it up.”
“I didn’t ask you to make me your little pet project,” Norris finally snapped once they got to the car.
“See?” Liam said with a solemn nod as he started his car. “Poker.”
“Look, I’m going to miss you. That’s all.” Liam had come around by the time they pulled up outside Norris’s building after a mostly silent drive home. To be fair, plenty of drives with Liam were silent. That laid-back demeanor was part of what had made him so easy to be around; the air never filled with awkwardness.
“This is me reacting poorly to the news of you leaving. That’s all. You shouldn’t internalize that. You understand your life better than I do.”
“Um, y-y-yeah,” Norris stuttered. “Thank you?”
That was the uncanny thing about Liam; his ability to voice these statements directly from his heart muscle thingy, stripped of ego or any voices in his head that might constantly worry about how they would sound to the world around him. Norris was envious of this quality; it made Liam seem almost invincible. He wondered how different the guy he had come to know this year might be from the one before the tattoo; the unhappy, miserable Liam he’d never met.
“Are you sure about leaving?”
“The Texas climate doesn’t agree with me.”
Liam laughed. “What does that even mean?”
In response, Norris raised both arms halfway up, revealing darkened armpits even through the fabric of his black T-shirt. One thing he definitely wouldn’t miss about Texas was having to walk around with his arms clenched firmly to his sides.
“Dude, the AC is running!” Liam said, pointing to his car’s console. “Are you sick?”
“I coined it. Geothermal allergy.” Norris nodded. “I’m literally allergic to life here.”
Liam laughed some more.
“So, have you talked to Maddie?”
“I don’t want to be set on fire,” Norris said. “It wouldn’t be a great look for me.”
“What?”
“Meredith.”
“Ah. And Aarti?”
“I’ve tried, believe me.” Four unanswered emails to Aarti, nine texts to Maddie. All unanswered. He had the receipts of his many tries.
Norris shrugged. “At some point, people ignoring you kind of means you should leave them alone, right?” Wasn’t that the rationale behind restraining orders?
“Not always. Sometimes they just need time. You should say goodbye,” Liam said. “People deserve that.”