Chapter 16
I HAD TO FIGHT like a tiger to wake up the next morning. The first thing I saw was those horses thumbtacked all over the wall. I stretched and noticed my shirt was off. I kicked my legs and could tell I was under the covers with one sheet underneath me and one sheet on top of me and my pants were off too.
Boy, I must've really been tired last night. I couldn't even remember getting undressed and getting between the sheets. But that explained why I was sleeping so hard, I found out one of rich people's secrets: Sleeping with two sheets puts you out like a baby that's been rode around in a automobile.
I looked over and thought I was dreaming. My clothes were all folded up in a neat pile the same way Momma used to fold them when she'd go to work before I got up. I blinked my eyes a couple of times 'cause it looked like there was a note on my clothes. Momma would always leave me a note that said something like, "Dear Bud, Please be neater, see you tonight, I love you."
My eyes started getting all sting-y but I blinked them a bunch more times and the note disappeared. I kept blinking but the pile of clothes stayed right where it was.
Aw, shucks, Miss Thomas must've come in at night and undressed me and put me in bed. I bet she got a real good look at my legs.
I got up as quiet as I could and put my clothes back on. I could hear laughing and talking coming from downstairs.
Right when I got near the kitchen door I could hear Herman E. Calloway saying, " . . . so that's how that cookie's going to crumble."
Miss Thomas said, "You have no idea how bad those orphanages can be, it's no place to be raised. I can't believe you, you'll take care of any stray dog wandering through this neighborhood, but when it comes to a child all of a sudden you have no sympathy. You might not have been paying attention, but we agreed last night what we were going to do about that boy, and that's what we're sticking to."
Uh-oh. I was glad I didn't take anything out of my suitcase, 'cause it looked like I might be making a break for the street again.
Herman E. Calloway said, "Like I said, I'ma find out what the real story is in Flint, and then we'll see."
Miss Thomas said, "That's fine, I believe the child. You, above all people, should know that I've got a sense about when someone is lying."
Uh-oh, I'd have to remember that.
She kept talking. "Until we've heard otherwise from Flint, he's staying right here."
A fourth voice said, "Well, I'm glad to hear it, that means I didn't go digging around in the basement for nothing. I think he's going to really like this."
It was Steady Eddie and it sounded like he had something for me!
I ran back up the steps on my tiptoes and down the hall to the little dead girl's room. I stood outside the room and closed the door loud enough that they could hear it downstairs. I clump-clump-clumped down the hall to the door that Miss Thomas said was the bathroom.
When I was done I pulled on a chain that made the water come down. The loud noise made me jump back.
Man, these inside-the-house outhouses were hard to get used to. I washed my hands with running hot water and closed the bathroom door kind of loud.
I clump-clump-clumped down the steps, stopping a couple of times to yawn real loud.
When I walked into the kitchen they all had looks on their faces like they hadn't been talking about me at all.
I said, "Good morning, Mr. Calloway," but I didn't really mean it, then said, "Good morning, Miss Thomas, good morning, Mr. Jimmy, good morning, Steady Eddie."
I noticed right away that Miss Thomas didn't have all her diamond rings on, I guess it would've been hard sleeping with them flashing lights up at you, she must have to keep them closed up in a box that the sparkles can't get out of. I noticed too that even without the rings Miss Thomas still had to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
They smiled and said, "Good morning, Bud." All except Herman E. Calloway. He got up from the table and said, "I don't like the way Loudean is sounding, I'ma have a look at her plugs."
He went outside through a door at the back of the kitchen.
Miss Thomas said, "Bud, we'd just about given up on you. Do you usually sleep until after noon?"
After noon? Man, I couldn't believe it, I'd slept as long as those rich folks in the moving pictures!
"No, ma'am, that's the first time I ever did that."
She said, "I know you must be starving, but if you can hold out for another half hour or so Mr. Jimmy's going to make everyone's lunch. Think you can wait?"
"Yes, ma'am." A half hour wasn't nothing to wait, no matter how hungry you were.
Mr. Jimmy said, "So what's the scoop, little man?"
I didn't know what that meant so I said, "Nothing, sir."
Steady Eddie said, "How'd you sleep, kiddo?"
"Great, sir." Oops, I forgot I wasn't supposed to call the band men sir.
He said, "Cop a squat." He pointed at a chair. I guessed that meant "sit down," so I did.
Miss Thomas said, "Were your ears burning last night, Bud?"
Man, all these Grand Rapids people really do talk funny. I only came from the other side of the state and it was like they talked some strange language out here.
I said, "What, ma'am?"
She said, "There's an old saying that when people talk about you behind your back your ears start to get real warm, kind of like they were burning."
I said, "No, ma'am, my ears felt just fine."
She said, "Well, they should've been burning, you were the subject of a very long conversation last night. But as sound asleep as you were, I'm really not all that surprised you didn't notice. I had to check your pulse to make sure you were still alive!"
Shucks! I knew it. She did come in when I was conked out and took my doggone pants and shirt off and put me there. Man, this was real embarrassing.
Miss Thomas said, "Mr. Calloway and the band and I talked about you for a long time. We've come up with something we want to discuss with you, but we need your help in deciding what to do."
Uh-oh. That was Rules and Things Number 36, or something, that meant I was going to have to get ready to go fetch something for her.
I said, "Yes, ma'am?"
She said, "We've got to talk to some people in Flint first, but if they say it's all right, we were hoping that you'd stay here at Grand Calloway Station for a while."
A gigantic smile split my face in half.
Miss Thomas said, "I'm going to assume that that smile means yes."
I said, "Yes, ma'am! Thank you, ma'am!"
Miss Thomas said, "Before that grin gets stuck on your face, let me tell you you're going to have lots of chores and things to take care of around here, Bud, you'll be expected to pull your own weight the best you can. We all like a very clean house and none of us are too used to having children around, so we're all going to have to learn to be patient with each other. There's one person in particular that you're going to have to be very patient with. Do you know who I mean?"
I sure did. "Yes, ma'am, it's Mr. Calloway."
She said, "Good boy, give him some time. He really needs help with a lot of different things, he swears someone's adding weight onto that bass fiddle of his every year, but he's just getting older. He can use some young, wiry hands to help him around. Think you can handle that?"
Now I knew for sure she'd looked at my legs, she must've thought I was a real weakling.
I said, "Yes, ma'am, my legs are a lot stronger than they look, most folks are surprised by that."
Miss Thomas said, "I don't doubt that at all, Bud. I'm not worried about your body being strong, I'm more concerned about your spirit. Lord knows Mr. Calloway is going to give it a test."
I said, "Yes, ma'am, my spirit's a lot stronger than it looks too, most folks are really surprised by that."
She smiled and said, "Very good, but you know what, Bud?"
"What, ma'am?"
"I knew you were an old toughie the minute I saw you."
I smiled again.
She said, "Our schedule's pretty heavy for the next couple of months, and then come September we'll have to see about school for you, but we'll be doing a lot of traveling right around Michigan, so I hope you don't mind long car trips."
"No, ma'am."
She said, "That's great, Bud. Something tells me you were a godsend to us, you keep that in mind all of the time, OK?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Then she did something that made me feel strange. She stood up, grabbed both my arms and looked right hard in my face, just like Momma used to, she said, "Really, Bud, I want you to always keep that in mind, this might get hard for you some of the time and I don't always travel with the band, so I don't want you to forget what I'm telling you."
I said, "No, ma'am, I won't."
Steady Eddie said, "Since you're going to be part of the family there're some things we've got to talk about. Now I've noticed the tight grip you keep on that old suitcase of your'n. I need to know how attached to it you are."
"I carry it with me everywhere I go 'cause all my things are in there." I wasn't sure if I liked the way this talk was going.
Steady Eddie said, "That's what I need to know, are you attached to the suitcase, or is it the things inside that are important?"
I'd never thought about that before, I'd always thought of the suitcase and the things inside together.
I said, "The things I got from my mother are the most important."
He said, "Good, 'cause if you're going to be traveling with us it just wouldn't look too copacetic for you to be carrying that ratty old bag."
He reached under the kitchen table and pulled out one of those funny-looking suitcases that the band kept all their instruments in. This one looked like a baby one to his.
He put it on the table, opened it and said, "Since you're going to be traveling with Herman E. Calloway and the Worthy Swarthys, which is known far and wide as a very classy band, it's only fitting that you quit carrying your things in that cardboard suitcase.
"This is my old alto saxophone case, I've been hanging on to it for three years now, ever since the horn got stole right off the stage in Saginaw, but it doesn't look like I'm ever gonna get it back, so I figured you might as well keep your momma's things in it."
Wow! "Thank you, Steady Eddie!"
I pulled my new case over to me. The inside of it had a great big dent where Steady Eddie's saxophone used to go, now there wasn't anything in it but a little raggedy pink towel. The case had some soft smooth black stuff all over the inside of it, it covered everything, even the dent. There was a real old smell that came out of it too, like dried-up slobber and something dead. It smelled great!
The back kitchen door opened and I thought Herman E. Calloway was coming back in to ruin everybody's fun, but it was the rest of the band.
Everybody said hello, poured themselves some coffee, then sat down at the table.
Doo-Doo Bug said, "I see Mr. C.'s got Loudean's carburetor tore down again, anything wrong?"
Miss Thomas said, "There's lots wrong, but not with that car."
They all laughed so I joined in too.
I patted my new case and said, "This here's my case now, I'm going to be going around with you."
They smiled and Dirty Deed said, "So we hear. Glad to have you on board, partner."
Steady Eddie said, "I was just about to tell him some of the things Herman E. Calloway requires of anybody in his band."
The Thug said, "Otherwise known as Herman E. Calloway's Rules to Guarantee You Have No Female Companionship, No Alcohol and No Fun at All."
"Rule number one, practice two hours a day."
Mr. Jimmy said, "That's a good one."
Steady Eddie said, "So I got you this, Bud."
Steady Eddie had another present for me! This was a long, brown, skinny wooden flute. I was going to have to learn music!
He said, "It's called a recorder. Once you've developed a little wind, and some tone and a embouchure we'll move on to something a little more complicated."
These must've been more of those Grand Rapids words 'cause they sure weren't like any American talk I ever heard before.
I said, "Thank you!"
Steady Eddie said, "Don't thank me until you've been through a couple of hours of blowing scales. We'll see if you're still grateful then."
The Thug said, "Now all that's left is to give little stuff here a name."
Miss Thomas said, "You know, I don't like the way Loudean's been sounding, I think I'm gonna go check the air in the trunk." She picked her coffee up and started to leave the kitchen.
Doo-Doo Bug said, "You don't have to leave, Miss Thomas."
"Darling, I know that, it's just that this is one of those man things that you all think is so mysterious and special that I have absolutely no interest in. The only thing I can hope is that the process has improved since you four were given your names." Then she left the room.
As soon as she was gone Steady Eddie told me, "Hand me your ax and stand up, Bud." I was starting to catch on to this Grand Rapids talk, I remembered that a ax was a instrument. I handed Steady my recorder and stood up in front of him.
He said, "Uh-uh, she was right, this is mysterious and special, so that grin's got to go, brother."
I tried to tie down my smile.
Steady said, "Mr. Jimmy, you're the senior musician here, would you proceed?"
Mr. Jimmy said, "Gentlemen, the floor's open for names for the newest member of the band, Bud-not-Buddy."
They started acting like they were in school. The Thug raised his hand and Mr. Jimmy pointed at him.
Thug said, "Mr. Chairman, in light of the boy's performance last night at the Sweet Pea, I nominate the name Waterworks Willie."
Shucks, I was hoping they'd forgot about that.
Mr. Jimmy said, "You're out of order, Douglas."
Steady raised his hand. "Mr. Chairman, this boy's obviously going to be a musician, he slept until twelve-thirty today, so I propose that we call him Sleepy."
Mr. Jimmy said, "The name Sleepy is before the board, any comments?"
Dirty Deed said, "Too simple. I think we need something that lets folks know about how slim the boy is."
Doo-Doo Bug said, "How about the Bone?"
Steady said, "Not enough class, he needs something so people will know right off that the boy's got class."
Mr. Jimmy said, "How do you say bone in French? French always makes things sound a lot classier."
The Thug said, "That's easy, bone in French is la bone."
Doo-Doo Bug said, "La bone, nah, it don't have a ring to it."
Steady Eddie said, "I got it, we'll compromise. How about Sleepy LaBone?"
I couldn't tie the smile down anymore, that was about the best name I'd ever heard in my life!
Mr. Jimmy said, "Let me try it out. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for coming out on this cold November night, this night that will live in history, this night that for the first time on any stage anywhere, you have listened to the smooth saxophonical musings of that prodigy of the reed, Mr. Sleepy LaBone!"
The whole crowd broke out clapping.
The Thug said, "What can I say but bang!"
Dirty Deed said, "You nailed him!"
Doo-Doo Bug said, "That is definitely smooth."
Steady said, "My man!"
Mr. Jimmy said, "Kneel down, young man."
I got down on one knee.
Mr. Jimmy tapped me on the head three times with my recorder and said, "Arise and welcome to the band, Mr. Sleepy LaBone."
I got off my knee and looked at my bandmates.
Sleepy LaBone. Shucks, that was the kind of name that was enough to make you forget folks had ever called you Buddy, or even Clarence. That was the kind of name that was enough to make you practice four hours every day, just so you could live up to it!